Are you letting ADHD ruin your life? Stop fighting it and regain control.

Does this sound like you?

You've been late to work a lot. So tonight, you resolve to turn it all around. You pack your lunch ahead of time. You lay out your clothes. You set yourself up for the ***perfect*** morning, and then you go to bed. When the alarm goes off, you're up! Today is going to be a great day. But then....

You're doing so well this morning. You think to yourself, "why not tackle this extra task while I have the time?" If this scene is at all familiar, you know where this is going.

ADHD time blindness will get you every time.

Not only are you late for work, again, but you're going to spend your morning in a shame spiral. Why does this have to be so hard!? Why does it feel like ADHD is controlling your life?

There's some good news though. ADHD doesn't have to control your life. In fact, the more you understand about the symptoms of ADHD and how they affect your life, the more control you have. You only need to learn a few things, like:

• How to separate your personality from the symptoms of ADHD

• Why fighting ADHD symptoms doesn't work and what you should do instead

• A powerful defense against time blindness so you can get out the door on time

The Value of Your Inner World

Sometimes with ADHD, it can be tempting to look at ourselves from a place of shame. You may often be late or forgetful. You mighty not be as organized as you’d like to be. You might struggle to maintain focus. We often internalize these observations and believe that they are about us. But this is not true at all. These symptoms of ADHD do not negate who we are as people. They are a single layer. They do not detract from our sense of right and wrong, our kindness, our sense of humor, our style, or how we care for others.

These positive aspects of our personality are often overshadowed by ADHD. It’s important to recognize that the symptoms of ADHD do not define you. Embracing this understanding is the first step toward transforming your life.

Recognizing the Threat

Our ADHD symptoms do not define us. Instead, they threaten the functionality of our lives. Unfortunately, we can’t make this threat go away. We can’t escape it. And we can’t control it.

You may have tried things in the past like setting a rigid schedule to follow. A large checklist of things to do in a day. This method of attack may work at times. It's more likely to lead to burnout, distraction, and a sense of shame. Attacking ADHD symptoms with rigidity is a sure fire way to fail. Attacking ADHD head on does not work. To thrive with ADHD, we’ve got to shift our perspective of the symptoms as a threat and build our internal defenses.

Strengthening Your Defenses

The best way to strengthen our defenses is to first acknowledge and accept the symptoms of ADHD. The very first step is knowing and understanding the symptoms of ADHD. It’s very hard to defend against an unknown entity.

The next step is to check our walls and look for weaknesses in our defense system. For example, if you set an alarm to go off in the morning so you can get up for work, that is a defense system. Imagine this as a wall. If you find that even on days when you get up when your alarm goes off, you're still late, it's time to strengthen this wall.

A Time Blindness Defense System

One of the more confusing symptoms of ADHD is time blindness. Setting alarms are a great way to help. But often, we make the mistake of thinking we can only use one. Or only use them for getting out of bed in the morning. This is a very neurotypical mindset. It can lead us to think that we're a failure when we get up with the alarm but still can't get out of the house on time.

In this scenario, a single alarm is not a strong enough defense system. When you strengthen a wall or make it taller, you add to it. In this example, strengthening our defense system might look like adding extra alarms.

To strengthen your own alarm system, try the following:

1. Backwards plan your morning. What do you usually need to achieve in the morning? Besides waking up and getting out of bed. Include everything you usually do in the morning. This can include hygiene, getting dressed, doing your hair or makeup. Be specific and include pack your lunch and work bag. If you have pets or children, include the tasks you do for them too. You want a complete picture of your morning.

2. Set alarms for each milestone. You don't have to set an alarm for every single task on your list. But now that you have a big picture, you can pick out some important milestones in your morning. For example, you may want to set an alarm for sometime after you feed and walk your dog that says, "Time to get dressed." Give yourself enough time to complete the tasks that fall into this category, then set the next alarm. Examples might include, "Time to pack lunch," or "Time to get out the door."

3. Label your alarms so that there is no confusion about what you should be doing. This is a super important step. Your ADHD will try to trick you into thinking you will remember. You won't. Take the time to label them when you set them up. This will help make adjustments later.

4. The snooze button is your best friend. It sounds counterintuitive, but the snooze button can be a powerful tool. When your alarm to get out the door goes off and you are not currently walking out the door, hit the snooze button. There is no shame in the snooze game here. The snooze button will give you the security of another chance to get back on track.

ADHD Mastery Comes From Acceptance

Living with ADHD can feel like an unending battle, but it doesn’t have to control your life. ADHD symptoms are not personality traits. The more you separate the two, the more control you will have over your life. You can start to dismantle the shame and frustration that often come with ADHD symptoms. Don't try to fight ADHD head-on. Instead, shift your approach to building defenses that work for your unique brain.

Remember, the goal is not to fight ADHD, but to work with it in a way that allows you to thrive.